Archive | March 2014

It’s Rating time!!! Hikes !!!!! Promotions !!!! Big Candy!!!

Let me share some of the procedures for getting hikes and better ratings. You might wonder are there any standard procedures.  Of course there are.

“Bosses don’t like giving hikes”, that’s the thumb rule. Their KPI’s are towards making profit, not to distribute it. Even if they are so convinced that you have worked hard, they won’t promote you. After all, they are not into philanthropy.

Then we might argue, if they don’t give hikes, we need to stand up for ourselves and demand for it. Fair enough! “If I am not given hikes, I decide to quit”. Seldom works though.

Asking for a hike from your manager is like getting a candy from a kid. You won’t get it how much ever you try. What’s the resemblence between a manager and a kid? It’s just that your boss is a grown up kid.

The only way to get the candy from the kid is through the birbal style. When Birbal was asked to make a line appear smaller without touching it, he drew a bigger line next to it demonstrating the theory of relativity in simplest form, several decades before Einstein.

Now I know what’s running through your mind. What has this got to do with hikes? Treat your manager like a grown up kid, promise him a bigger candy. Tell him if he gives you hikes, you will promise the big candy.

In fact I have tried it myself. I promise to exceed my targets and secured my hike. I just got the better of my boss. It was over ambitious on his part to accept such astronomical numbers, and all the more ambitious to expect that out of me.

Now what if your boss reduces your salary seeing you’re less than targeted performance? If he reduces your salary, you can tell him you are thoroughly demotivated and so my work is suffering. Make him feel that you will use ‘lack of promotion’ as an excuse to poorer performance.

Do you want to be promoted at CM II? Answer frankly. Don’t be shy. I asked this to my colleague. She said I don’t think I am ready for it. I just replied “All she needs to do is to grasp the secret to climb the corporate ladder bureaucracy. It’s a simple procedure. Ha Ha Ha

People get promoted to the level of incompetency. This means one should ask for promotion even if he thinks he is not competent enough??? No No No. New employees start at lower ranks, prove to be exceeding expectations in their assigned tasks, they get promoted and move up the ladder. This goes on indefinitely till the employee reaches a position where he/she is no longer competent.

The same being year-end, let me give you some easy steps for promotion which XXXX  Bank taught me. He he he

1)      First bring tiny results

2)      Create a subtle indication that if you are motivated you would bring better results

3)      Signal to your boss that you are under performing in the current role and would do wonders if promoted

4)      Ensure that your boss always feels that you will be his loyal subject, irrespective of promotion

5)      Show conviction- give him an impression that you are pre wired from birth for that position ONLY

6)      Give him an impression that he is going to create history by slaying old practices by promoting you soonest

7)      Make your boss the war hero. Celebrate false victory. Thank your boss for the promotion even before he commits anything on it.

8)      If you don’t get promoted, instead of quitting you will stay in the system and create additional nuisance.

9) Golden rule – Bosses jokes are always funny

10) Don’t underestimate your abilities. Your boss will take care of it.

11) First and foremost, recognize your bosses voice over phone

12) Fall in love with the swooshing sound, papers make when they fly by when you dont meet you deadlines. Because you will encounter this quite often in the daily huddles.

13) If you are caught sleeping, your immediate response should be , “Darn, why did you interrupt me. I had almost figured out a stunning solution to our biggest problem”.

A Peep into Myself

1)      Whose day will I make today?

Mmmm….. Guess what? I have packed two big jars of Samiya Kheer in a plastic cover in his black Samsung back pack for his VLSI Millers team. Oh Oh…I am sorry, he is shifted to his new office from Millers. So read it as “for his K R Puram clang?”

And I was jumping in my house when I got a message in my  inbox from his co-worker, Swati which goes on as: “ Hey Priya, thanks for the payasam (Kheer). It was too good. I was on leave yesterday…didn’t know you were sending across sweet for us. It was a great surprise”.. OMG OMG OMG.

Mani texted to express that more than the taste and flavor, he was moved by my effort to prepare the same for his team.

Can the day be more perfect?

2)      When did someone else last make my day?

I was on top of the world day before when I got a watsapp image from my sweetest darling baby doll, btw she is Divisha, the youngest in my friends list,…The best things in life are considered Priceless, they are not considered things..This image is definitely PRICELESS..Love her so much..My name has never seemed so beautiful to me till I got that picture in my cellphone.IMG-20140319-WA0001

3)      How might the way I live my life be a source of inspiration to others?

I have among st my circles who constantly check emails, Facebook, Twitter. Why is it so important to know what Rahul Gandhi is saying on twitter now… what does it matter what friend is eating what and posting to Facebook. I’m not saying drop them completely, but  limit your intake. Unplug yourself. I take few minutes each morning, 10minutes at lunch and then again before I hit the bed. Otherwise, close it off. If it’s a big deal, you’ll hear about it in the morning. If it’s truly a personal issue, have them call you. Not only will you have more personal productive time, you’ll likely have less anxiety caused by other’s need to vent negative feelings.

Life is too short to waste any amount of time wondering what other people think about you.  What are important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.

4)      If my life could teach, what would the first lesson be?

I never miss an opportunity to celebrate and elevate another person. That’s what my close friends say about me. I uphold that the quality of life comes down to the quality of relationships. With your customers, neighbours, friends,co workers, loved ones, and of course yourself. Commit to insanely great relationship and I bet you will have an insanely great life.Just follow these like I do, its not difficult mates:

  • Be the first to say hello when you bump against another person.
  • Use people’s names. It shows you care and respect them
  • Offer sincere compliments. Anyways you don’t have to pay for it. Leave people feeling better than you found them.
  • Smile a lot. Its one of the best ways to have someone open up to you
  • Become a great listener. It shows you are breath takingly humble. It shows you are interested. I have come across people wherein they wait until the other person is finished speaking so that he can interject.

5) What can make my life better?

Music Music Music…it has helped me a lot. Its given all the peace when I ached for it, the joy when I was going through my tough times, the inspiration when I lost hop. All what matters is how much music do you invite into your life. I music when I sleep, when I work, when I study, when I relax, when I am hurt, when I am mood spoilt, when I super happy, when cook, when I bathe, when I am me and when I am out of my mind. It has made every moment of mine better.

Good day readers

Finally Fitness 9

So I have finally decided to shed my tires. If I need to pen down my first day atFITNESS 9, here you go ” Tricky, Confusing, Intimidating and Noisy”.

 
As i stepped into the fitness center with my lumpy thighs for the first time, I was surprised and in awe. Though I have been to a gym when I was at Doshi, I had no trainer for me. Using the gym was part of the maintenance charges we paid. I mean, obviously if i had to pay 1200/- for a month at Fitness 9, I should at least have a trainer, right???
 
Every instrument was looking so confusing and complicated. I have just used Treadmill, Cycling and Stepper to look super stunning in the last to last year, because my family felt youngsters didn’t want me as their life partner, as I was out of shape????
 
I dressed with my maroon t shirt and black tracks,wore sketchers, carried my pink tupperware filled with H2O and my audiobook (Nexus which my husband gifted on my first bday after getting wedded) which would be my friend on the treadmill.
 
Entering into a fitness facility is like walking into a funfair. New faces. Assortment of physical appearances. Like entering a small town where everyone are inevitably involved in one group or the other.
 
If you really want to have a great time at the gym , i personally feel you should understand the people and make right friends. apart from Pari (my trainer) , made friends with Divya , a fashion designer and also bumped into Jyothi ( she stayes in the ground floor where my MIL lives).
 
After all cycling and  stretching exercises and steppers and  treadmilling and weights and cramps and pain, right now relaxing with my green label filter coffee..

Hours

6407710d6aaf7429450f6a7067003466_r620x349If you have to choose which one to DVD amongst a bunch of 281 CD’s, I would admit without hesitation that it’s a million times tougher than clearing CA exam with exemption in the first attempt. Zeroed down to final films completed by Paul Walker before he dies in the car crash – HOURS!! Many tributes were paid to the handsome charming 40 year old, known for his undercover lawman in Fast and Furious movies. Paul Walker produced this film while this is the directional debut venture of Heisserer.

The movie is set in New Orleans hospital, a father struggling to keep his new-born baby alive when Katrina gains more urgency. Nolan gets into the hospital with his wife, Abigail (I am so much in love with that name) in premature labor as the hurricane gains full strength. His child had to be kept in ventilator and his wife dies in 5 hours of delivery.

Once the flood water rises, the hospital is forced to evacuate. This leaves the father and the child alone as the ventilator cannot be moved. Nolan will spend 42 hours in the hospital, without power as the back-up generator fails, cranking up the battery every two minutes, guarding his new-born hooked up to an IV,speaking to his silent daughter by pulling out photos of her mother ( including the wedding and engagement ring)- put them on top of the ventilator, hunting for refill bags, changing diapers for the first time, looking for radio transmission when he loses cell phone reception, rushing to roof top back and forth failing to flag down a helicopter.

All the while, he has to return so very meticulously to crank the battery, again and again.

Walker manages both to be tender and tough. Hours follow a fairly predictable path. But it’s at its best when it’s so quiet. There is no way to look at the movie except though the “tragic lens”. Nolan is working hard here, and has to carry the entire show, but many of the interactions he has with his co-actors are flimsy and melodramatic. Hours gave me a “127 hours” feel that Nolan is stuck in the same room doing the same thing over and over again. If you ask me how is the movie – Tense, sad  strange and uniquely involving. The film has done a good job with hurricane as a backdrop, incorporating real realities of what went on –looting, abandoned hospitals, evacuations. To see Nolan at his best, Hours is worth the time.

Ali Ali Ali !!! Up Up A R Rahman !!!

download (1)Highway – soundtrack album composed by A.R.Rahman, directed by Imtiaz Ali that stars Randeep Hooda and Alia Bhatt in the lead roles, released on 24th January 2014 in T Series with 9 tracks in toto.

After “ Rockstar”, Imtiaz Ali and the Indian Beethovan have teamed up for Highway. Adding music to a love story is a cakewalk, but adding music to the film of a Highway Journey is a different ballgame altogether. Expected Rockstar  excellance, but it went a step further. From melody to lyrics, Highway is one distinguished work from the maestro

The movie starts on a very soothing note with Patakha Guddi – a Sufi number. Thumping and energetic. Nooran sisters along with Rahman do it exceptionally well. Ali Ali Ali- the song will make you feel free spirited. The track has everything that will keep you hooked onto it till the very end – good lyrics, feel good vibe, vibrant music, outstanding vocals.I personally feel this song should have  been titled Ali Ali. It would have managed to connect better and create enhanced impact. This one is about celebration of freedom and Rahman has managed to bring that emotion out through his music stunningly well. A must hear,

Maahi Ve – a love ballad, sung by the Mozart of Madras  himself comes next. Rahman’s voice + Expressive lyrics – That song is in shuffle mode in my ipod. I am sure it will be the same in your gadget too the moment you hear it once. Beautiful compostion. His husky tone adds extra charm to the meaningful lyrics. I started hearing this number and I was in my own imaginative world. I was dancing to this tune in the middle of Mount road traffic today when I wanted to get to the other side of the road waiting for the signal to colour green. That’s the power of AR Rahman.Rahman doesn’t sing often now, but Highway is an excpetion.

Other numbers being :

  • Kahaan Hoon Main – Heart touching number. You might not like it instantly, but re hear the track, Jonita’s voice will mesmerize you
  • Sooha Sahaa – Melodious lullaby. It is the bit sung by Alia Bhatt that will steal your heart away for its splendid expression. Sample this, ‘Kyun Na Soye… Kyun Tu Roye…Kyun Tu Khoye Yun Pardes Mein’.Alia’s innocent voice -Speechless
  • Wanna Mash Up- Odd man out in the album.Not because of the English lyrics, but for the reason that it is Very urban. Similar to Jai Ho in Slumdog millionaire
  • Tu Kuja – Sunidhi Chauhan’s powerful voice.  Devotional number. Her enigmatic voice mixed with music gives a Western effect which has the capability to keep the listeners latched to the number.
  • Imposive Silence – Jonitas voice + Rahman’s instrumental experimentation makes this song a wonder. Longest track which runs to almost six minutes if I am not wrong.
  • Heera – Situational song. Folksy flavour. Rooted in classical music. Violins and bells in between by AR is exceptionally innovative.

So plug in your ear plugs right away folks, and be ready for the magical and powerful musical experience.

Sugar, lemon, ginger pot, It’s always Rahman at the super top….

 

Who Moved My Cheese ???

whomovedmycheesecoverWho Moved My Cheese? An Amazing way to deal with Change In your work and In your life.

A motivational book by Spencer Johnson Co-author of The One Minute Manager -, written in the form of a business fable – sold more than 26 million copies worldwide in 37 languages and still remains to be the best selling business books. The book clocks in at 96 pages, and you can read it cover to cover in 40 minutes if you are not a speed reader. The book speaks about the vital importance of dealing with unexpected change in life.

 

A group of friends meet for dinner and the topic of discussion gets on to CHANGE. The story involved four fictional characters. Sniff and Scurry , the mice and Hem and Haw , the little people.

Who-moved-my-cheese-Johnson-Sniff-Scurry-Hem-Haw

Sniff who sniffs out change easily.

Scurry who hurries into action.

Hem who fears change as he feels it will lead to something worse

Haw who snaps out of his comfort zone and adapts to change when he feels its for his better.

 

CHEESE is What you want in life. May be a hike in in your CTC, a tender relationship, peace of mind, a vacation, hell a lot of money. MAZE is where you can find what you want. May it be your workplace, your loved ones, your family above all in YOU.

In the story, all is well as they have found an enormous source of their yummy food. Hem and Haw even shifted their houses near it. But they fail to notice as time passes by, the cheese supply had been getting smaller every day. One morning they arrived at the Cheese station and discovered there was no cheese.This is where the story splits into two. Sniff and scurry quickly accept the loss and go off into the maze in search for other sources. Whereas Hem and Haw keep cribbing and grumbling of the present situation because cheese was very important to them and trying to decide what to do.

This business fable captures very beautifully that moment after we have lost a job or relationship, we believe that’s the end of the world. No ray of hope ahead. The author enlightens us , instead of seeing change as the end of everything, we must learn to see it as the beginning. He quotes: “If you don’t change, you can become extinct”

Good points

1)      Mildly entertaining

2)      Easy read

Bad points

1)      71 pages in extra huge font, lot of white space. 10 page story made to 71 page bookby over formatting is dishonest I believe

2)      Lengthy introduction just to fill up pages

3)      Who moved my cheese says Accept whatever that gets thrown to you. You always have the right to say “ Give me back my Goddamn cheese”

4)      For big people with big minds who wants to make big decisions, Why get stuck up in the maze? LEAVE THE MAZE FELLAS. The book doesn’t even get close to discuss this point.

Let me list down certain phrases picked out directly from the book.

1)      Change happens. ( sometimes you expect it and sometimes you don’t)

2)      Anticipate change ( it helps you to deal with it quicker)

3)      Adapt to change quickly ( the sooner, the better)

4)      Enjoy change (be flexible and go with the flow mates)

The core essence of the book can be summarized from the “Cheese station N Handwriting on the Wall”

Who-moved-my-Cheese-Cheese-station-N-Handwriting-on-the-Wall-570px

 

 

Are you a Billionaire?

Suppose you win a lottery of 1 billion rupees.( FYI, 1 billion is …… Let me Google…my reception is slow mates…if I am not wrong, it’s a 100 crores???And of course, 1 billion post tax.) What will you do with that money?

First of all, I will pay my card dues and EMI’s and personal loans….

Let me set apart 1 million for that. Then??

I will buy a posh house for me.

Okay. Another 7 million for that. Then?

I will get a sexy car without doubt.

Hmm mm. Another 2 million for that.

Fill my wardrobe with designer clothes.

5 lacs is fine I guess.

Blue ray discs, home theatres and what not.

10 million…Then??

Then…Then….

“Have never had a chance to even dream of 1 billion rupees. Then how do we know how to manage the same?” I am sure this is what that’s reeling through your mind reading the first half of the blog. This is it. We frame our own imagination, thoughts, dreams, aspirations and what not based on our present situation.

Are you going to be put behind bars for dreaming of earning a billion? Do you need any status to dream for a billion? If you are not rich, should your mind also think like you are not rich? You will earn for yourself only what you think of. Those who believe they can’t, CANNOT.

Think large. Think as a billionaire. Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really really believe, your mind will find ways and means to achieve it. Look at things as not what they are, but as what they can be. Instead of digging graves, build castles., cant you?

As Donald Trump said “ Anyways you have to think, then why not think BIG? So stop singing the poverty line, “ I am blessed only with this”…”I am an unlucky person”..Your fate is shaped by your thoughts. And that is the universal law.

Do you want to be labelled a poverty minded person or a billionaire minded person? Decide for yourself.