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Is Love Magical?

Falling in Love is magical. I have always wished falling in love has traffic lights too, so that you could know if you should go for it, slow down or just stop. Love feels eternal, as if it will last forever.

But as the daily life takes over, the magic recedes. We naively believe that somehow we are exempt from the problems our parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are destined to live happily ever after.

It emerges that men continue to expect women to think and react like men and women expect men to feel and behave like women. Without clear awareness of our differences, we do not take time to understand and respect each other. We become resentful, annoying, disturbed, demanding and intolerant. With the best and most loving intentions love continues to die. Mistrust increases. Communication breaks down. Resentment builds. Magic of love is lost.

Very few people are indeed, able to grow in love. When you understand the hidden difference of the opposite sex, we can give and receive the love in our hearts more successfully. Then love has a chance to blossom.

Bottom line is Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences.

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Give love to become beloved

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” ― Winston S. Churchill

At work.  Today its Bharat Bandh. No public transport. Bangalore enjoys the quiet. Grabbed myself a cup of coffee and want to share some thoughts with all of you.

Had a long chat with my long lost friend yesterday evening and as we texted Goodnight to each other, she asked me a very powerful question: “ Have you helped someone today besides yourself?” This really made me think about giving. You need to give to get. Giving does begin the receiving process.

Give affection to get it. Give time to get it. Give love to get it. Give praise to get it. Give your best to get it back. Give respect to experience it. Give love to become beloved.

If you make 5 people feel better about themselves each day, by the end of one year you would have single handedly elevated the lives of nearly 2000 people. Continue this practice and you would have elevated the lives of 20,000 people after a decade. You will quickly realize that your little daily gestures of inspiration can end helping thousands of people over your life time.

Such a simple idea. Help each other to reach their best. And they would joyfully help you reach your cherished ideals. Give yourself entirely to those around you. Be generous with your blessings. A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal

The ‘Before I Die’ List

Hope you are in superb spirits today. It’s a fresh sunny day at Bangalore. Been reading ‘Conaty’s The Talent Masters’ and getting tons and tons of insights on rare air performance from it. Reading is such a game changer. Yes? My friend tells me “Priya, if you have to, cut back on other things. But always fill your life with books. The insights you get from them stays till eternity”. Grabbed a cup of coffee, at my desk and wanted to share a powerful idea with all of you.

Excited about all that is coming up this year:-

  • My tests on Music lessons this October
  • Family time with my parents and relatives
  • Tax Audit season with lots of learning in store in September
  • Fly to Northern India by year end for official purpose
  • Get world class at Creativity and Journaling

I am also taking stock of my Big 3 ( the 3 main things that I need to get done for me to feel this year was my best one yet) auditing my values and  habits and reviewing my game plans for my personal/professional  life.

Which brings me to the main idea of today’s post: Our Priorities, Building your daily life around your deepest priorities.

There is no point spending your finest hours climbing mountains, only to realize at the end  of the year/decade/life you have climbed the wrong one. It is foolish to invest your best days pursuing ideals that later turn out to be success according to someone else’s definition rather than your own.But in this Age of Dramatic Distraction–where so many of us are in a constant state of relentless stimulation over things that–ultimately–will have amounted to nothing, this way of thinking is rare. And for a lot of us, it takes a defining event like the loss of a loved one or a personal brush with death to wake us up … to what that matters most.

It happened to Ted Leonsis, the Vice-Chairman of Groupon…He used to run AOL. He writes good books. And, from all accounts, he’s a decent person.And his “101 Things to Do Before I Die” list is pretty well known.

Leonsis was on a flight a few years ago when the pilot announced something none of us ever wants to hear on a flight: that the plane was in serious trouble, all recovery measures had failed and all passengers had 35 minutes left to live.

So Leonsis prepared to die.

And as he did, he reflected on what truly mattered. On all the potential he still had left to spend, on all the achievements he still had left to do and on all the joys he still had left to experience.

Fortunately, the plane didn’t crash.

Shortly after it landed, Leonsis took out a piece of paper and scribbled the 101 goals he promised himself he’d reach before the end of his life.

So far, Leonsis has managed to check off 74 out of his 101 “To Dos Before I Die”……and live a life he loves.

Here you go, some of my entries in my ” To do Before I die” Bucket list:

  • Cuddle under the stars
  • Feel beautiful
  • Have a book with all my favorite quotes
  • Give people a reason to remember  my name
  • Change someone’s life
  • Be kissed unexpectedly
  • Get an infinity tattoo
  • Get tattoo of my favorite quote
  • Own a Photo printer
  • Watch a Bale dance
  • Experience zero gravity
  • Go to new York on New years’s eve
  • Record a song in a studio
  • Be on the cover of a magazine
  • Mean everything to someone
  • Touch their hand during a concert
  • Attach a lock to the love bridge
  • Experience Gujarat Rann Utsav
  • Go on a long vacation with my Dad and Mom
  • Go sky diving
  • Sleep on the beach
  • Hold a baby turtle

So may I suggest, that in this world where so many people are following the herd and swiftly moving in circles, you rise from the crowd and get uber-clear on what you really want your days to stand for–by writing your own “ Things To Do Before I Die” list. And above all else, then start living it. Today.Cheers

Life is all about choices.

The most important of all human traits is the power to choose. To choose how we live. To choose what we get to do. To choose how we will view and consider a circumstance. To choose what we want to love.

For instance, last Sunday, I planned to shop art supplies from Itsy Bitsy to make personalized greeting cards . All geared up to shop craft materials for myself. Created my “To Buy” list which housed around 13 items in my Barbie Post It note. Wore my favorite dress. Booked an OLA cab to drive me down to Banashankari Second stage. But it started raining heavily with thunder storms. I could have grumbled. Instead, I cancelled my cab booking and stepped back ,then viewed the whole situation differently. I made up my mind to try the Gulab Jamun receipe after “Padhuskitchen” cooking blog. And you know what,they tasted the best ever. After relishing my delicious Jamuns ,ran to the terrace and got drenched. Danced in the rain.Enjoyed the Bangalore rains. Wow . Just wow.  It will almost take a week to get the smile off my face. I chose to stay happy instead of cribbing about the rains.

Each day we have the opportunity to make choices. And the way we choose shapes our destiny. So don’t get disturbed. Instead get excited.

As Paul Theroux observed “ Only fools blame vacation in the rain”.This life is yours. If you don’t take charge of what you want to do in life, who else will? Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life blissful and joyful.

Bottom line : It’s not as much as about who you used to be, it is about who you choose to be. You have the power to choose, but you have no power to escape the necessity of choice.

Music Makes Life Awesome

It’s 2.07PM. I just had my lunch. I am at my work place. My team has gone out for a short walk. And I am writing in my journal. (Journaling is all about talking to yourself. I believe it is a voyage to the interior) Reflecting. And listening to Arijith Singh’s “Humaari Adhoori  Kahaani”. I love it. Now let me ask you a question. How much of music do you invite in your life?

Music has helped me to get through my painful times. It’s offered me inspiration when I needed it, joy when I craved it and peace when I ached for it. It makes my life very colorful, happening alive and happy. Music will make every moment better. It is a soundtrack to a brilliant life. Don’t you feel music touches us emotionally where words alone can’t?

Without Music to decorate life, time is just a bunch of boring deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. I just cant thank Music for being there with me always.

Finding Relief through Talking!!!

When I am stressed I instinctively feel a desperate need to talk about my feelings and all the possible problems associated with my feelings. When i start talking, i just don’t prioritize the significance of any problem. If i am upset, I am upset about it all, big and small. I am not immediately concerned about finding solutions to my issues but rather i would seek relief expressing myself to my confidant and being understood. By randomly talking about my problems, i become less upset.

I understand,  a man under stress tends to focus on one problem and forget others, whereas a women under distress tends to expand and becomes overwhelmed by all problems. By talking about it without focusing on problem solving, she feels better. I talk about past problems, potential problems, future problems, even about problems that have no solution.

“The more talk and exploration, the more better i feel. This is the way i function. In fact, WOMEN function. To expect other wise is to deny her sense of self.”

When I discuss with my soul mate in great detail about what is troubling my normal self, my stress disappears as I am being heard. After talking about one topic, I pause and move to the next one. I expand talking about problems, worried, irritations, frustrations and disappointments. These topics generally need not be in any order and are quite often not logically related. If i feel i am not being understood, I become all the more depressed. Talking is my natural and h healthy way of reacting to stress.

Let me try to give you an example:

Rosie come from work after an exhausting day. She wants to share her feelings about the day. She says: ” There is so much to do. I don’t have time for myself”

Leo says ” You should quit that job. You don’t have to work that hard.”

Rosie : ” But I love my job. They expect me to change everything at a short notice”

Leo : “Don’t listen to them. Just do what you want to do.”

Rosie : ” I am. I cant believe I forgot to wish my sister on her birthday today”

Leo: ” Don’t worry about it. She will understand”

Rosie :”Do you know what she is going through? She needs me”

Leo: ” You worry too much. That’s why you are so unhappy”

Rosie “I am not always unhappy. Cant you listen to me with more attention and patience?”

Leo : ” I am listening”

Rosie “Why do you even need to bother?”

After this conversation, Rosie becomes all the more frustrated than when she arrived home seeking intimacy and companionship. Leo also had no idea about what went wrong.He wanted to help, but his problem solving tactics made things worse.

“All that a woman needs when she is under pressure, is her soul mate’s UNDIVIDED Attention and TIME”

Why Cultivate Friends?

Do you know how much people indirectly contribute to our growth? The loving words of such people that spring from a beautiful mind filled with joy, good will, and concern for our growth, and their loving intimacy, in fact, brings many successes in our lives.

My boss during my three years of CA article ship is an amazing gentleman. If you meet this wonderful personality, all your worries will vanish into thin air. There is no need for him to pick up a conversation with you or to inquire about your welfare. He is filled with so much of positive vibes that his presence is enough to facilitate the miracle. He is an exceptional well wisher who always thinks of welfare of others.

It so happened, my boss once asked me over lunch table, ” Priya, Do you have any problem?” I replied ” I was suffering so much those days, Sir. Now I have progressed very well and am contended. I would like to thank GOD for that.” He immediately responded saying ” Piyu, it is not GOD you should thank. You should thank those people who wished you well. Only because of their sincere wishes, you are doing well.” What a powerful thought.

That day i realized your progress is just not in your hands. It is decided depending upon the quality of people surrounding you. It is so true. Our growth depends upon the people with positive vibes, people who congratulate us from the bottom of their hearts, and those who rejoice in our growth as if it is their own.

Make sure you always are in the company of people who admire you, pat you on the back and tell you the truth always. They are real tonic for your self confidence and achievement ,mates.It is a fact that your mind gets energized by praises and genuine adulations. Their enthusiasm and genuine words encourage us even more and bring out the best in you.

Just read through this conversation I had with a friend of mine two days back:

Piyu : Hey dear, how are you?

Friend : How am I? Yea… Just pulling on.

Piyu : How are all at home? Convey my love to them.

Friend: What problem for them? No problem… Only i have to slog for them.

Piyu: Hey, cheer up. Life will have ups and downs.

Friend: Don’t know what to do. Am clueless. By the way i heard that your job is going belly up. What’s happening?

Piyu : Quite hectic in the work front. But still managing

Friend: What will you manage? just make sure you don’t end up in the street.

Piyu: How is work for you?

Friend : Don’t worry. I too will soon join you in the street.

In this conversation, the words shattered confidence and showed irritation. If you keep their company, you will be swamped by negative thoughts.

Your mind is like a mother. If someone praises you, she will be glad. It will take you higher and higher. The love and respect for adulations will make you work hard to continue to get them. You won’t get lazy, just because you keep yourself by your well wishers.

It is true that adulations help to keep your morale very high. Just look at the awards and accolades that Maser Blaster, Sachin Tendulkar receives. It is almost impossible to keep track of them. He has broken almost all the records in the field of cricket. There has been no dearth of achievements and heart throbbing moments. Even though he has crossed 34000 runs we still clap when he strikes a boundary. Why do we do it? It is just to encourage him. With the might of all the support and enthusiasm behind him, he will whack the next ball for a huge six. Even when legends like him need our constant support, what about us mortals? When you favorite Sachin enters the stadium, and your friend predicts ” Sachin is going to get out for a duck”. You immediately jump to shut his mouth. Why? If ten people spread this negative energy, you fear, Sachin will definitively out for a duck. That is what we dread the most. Negative energy.

People who express lack of faith in you, people who do not trust you and people who don’t believe in your vision, you should shut them out of your life.

“Your mind is like a garbage can.Keep it upside down. Or else, people will dump all their garbage there. Whoever throws garbage in mind, cant be your friend”